Suddenly Single? The 5 Stages of Grief
Suddenly Single? The 5 Stages of Grief
Death of a spouse or breakup of a marriage or long-term relationship can trigger similar responses in a person. Each person mourns a loss differently. However, there are 5 common stages of grief a person goes through when mourning the loss of a relationship. These were adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, 'On Death and Dying'
You may not experience these stages in one fluid order. You may go through some of the stages more than once. Sometimes an event will trigger you to experience one of these stages again. For instance, cleaning out the basement and finding an old shirt of your deceased spouse or hearing your ex-partner is to remarry might cause reoccurrence of certain stages. The five stages of grief are:
The 5 Stages of Grief - Coping with the Loss of your Partner
1.Denial - The "No, not me" stage.
This stage is filled with disbelief and denial. If your partner has died you still expect him to walk through the door. If your partner has asked for a break-up you think that she will change her mind.
2.Anger/Resentment - The "Why me?" stage.
Anger at the situation, your partner and others are common. You are angry with the other person for causing the situation and for causing you pain. You might feel anger at your deceased partner for dying. You may feel anger at your partner for asking for a divorce and breaking up the family.
3. Bargaining - The "If I do this, you'll do that" stage.
You try to negotiate to change the situation. If you've lost a spouse to death you might bargain with God, "I'll be a better person if you'd just bring him back". You might approach your partner who is asking for the break-up and say "If you'll stay I'll change".4.
4. Depression- The "It's really happened" stage.
You realize the situation isn't going to change. The death or break-up happened and there is nothing to bring the other person back. Acknowledgement of the situation often bring depression. This could be a quiet, withdrawn time as you soak in the situation.
5. Acceptance - The "This is what happened" stage.
Though you haven't forgotten what happened you are able to begin to move forward.
Coping with Break-up or the Loss of your Partner
Suggestions when you find yourself suddenly single
Avoid long term legal decisions. If you are in an emotional state its better to put off long term legal decisions until your thinking is less cloudy.
Drive carefully. It's easy to become distracted when you are grieving so use care when you get behind the wheel.
Seek support for your kids and yourself. Your kids are grieving along with you and will need support. It might be wise at this point to have separate grief sessions apart from your children if you're experiencing anger and resentment.
Maintain rituals. The children most likely will feel insecure and abandoned at first. Maintaining the same patterns of holidays, birthdays, Saturday outings, etc. will give them a sense of normalcy and consistency.
Nurture yourself. You need to care for your spiritual, emotional and physical health. No one else will do it but you. Take care of yourself as well as you take care of your child. Eat healthy, exercise and take vitamins. Allow yourself to grieve and give yourself as much time as you need to adjust to what has happened.
xxx
The information is free to reprint in any format provided the information at the bottom, including this, remains intact. Reprinted from Single Parent Central, http://www.singleparentcentral.com, which offers information and resources to single parent families.
©2000 SingleParentCentral.com
Please feel free to leave a comment about this page
Was this page useful? Do you have something to add? Do you disagree?
If your comments meet our
guidelines then we will publish them (you do not need to register!)
Or why not tell a friend and email
this
page to someone
Date Added: Saturday 25th October 2008
"Just a note to thank you for putting up these stages so clearly, my marriage has broken up and through the grief i thought i had lost everything although as i type this im feeling more confident about life i seem to have gone through all the stages but some of anger still remains though even that has subsided. To anyone reading this i can say there is hope and you will get over it it just takes time to rediscover yourself"
Paul Davies
Date Added: Sunday 3rd August 2008
"i've just broke up with my boyfriend it's doing my head in. i'm all over the place one minute i'm angry then i'm crying i think i'm in denial "
Nicola
Date Added: Monday 21st April 2008
"I'm in the first few days and he is moving out in 2 days, i just dont dont know how i'm going to get through this, our relationship was awfull, so why is this hurting so much?"
mandy
Date Added: Monday 14th April 2008
"I have just realized I am in the withdrawal phase after a 3 yr relationship.Althopugh I was the one who ended it wdI felt hurt when my partner found as new love. Withdrawal phase is ok though as it feels like i'm re-charging my batteries."
amanda
Date Added: Friday 28th March 2008
"Im in the first few days and feel like im dying...i am looking for ANY help to keep going...im just glad other people understand"
shirley
Date Added: Friday 7th March 2008
"A useful site. I am at stage 1 with a brief visit to stage 3. My marriage was terrible but I have a fear of being alone and have put up with a lot because of it. Not looking forward to the depression stage - hope it doesn't last too long."
Lisa Robins
Date Added: Saturday 24th November 2007
"We are glad that you have found this page some help."
Admin
Date Added: Friday 23rd November 2007
"Hi there, Im going through a breakup of a 25 year marriage. my husband wanted it, not me. Your page has helped me identify with what I am feeling, and what I shall be feeling. Thankyou for helping."
Sandra
